notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Multiple Choice

I’m all for choice.

I like web sites that show you five ways to wear a white shirt. Or the top six lipsticks. Or the ten best books ever written. I can even go for the six best lipsticks to wear while reading the ten best novels.

But some sites are getting a little carried away.

The award for the craziest amount of choices has to belong to iVillage.com.

The emails they send me daily make me dizzy.

Like:

 “45 Beef Recipes To Try Tonight!”

I like to cook, but I usually just try one recipe per evening.

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“177 Food Tips for a Healthy Diet”

We could all use diet tips – but that’s a pretty long slide show. I may need a snack halfway through.

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“50 Springtime Handbags To Buy Today!”

I love to shop, and I’m more than a little self-indulgent, but my husband might be disconcerted when the UPS truck drops off that many boxes of purses.

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And just today:

“49 Bangs Styles To Try!”

There’s full, there’s straight, there’s sideways; there’s long and there’s short.  But 49?  My hair is pretty fine – I’m not sure I have 49 hairs to make bangs with.

Of course when I was a little girl I had teenie-weenie bangs.

Easter Sunday, 1957.

So I’m certainly glad that there is more than one style of bangs.

Because Mamie Eisenhower bangs would not be a good look for me now.

Easter Sunday, 2012?
Bangs and Dress, but let's skip the hat.

19 Comments

  1. Bonnie

    My mother used to cut my bangs absolutely straight, right across my forehead.Oooh, was that an awful look. Ever since I started going to pros to cut my hair, I have been adamant that they make my bangs uneven and spiky. I looked like a retard in those straightline bangs

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  2. There are 101 Ways to Comment in an Exciting Fashion to Wow a Blogger. Instead of listing all 101, I’m going to go with this one: hilarious post.

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  3. bigsheepcommunications

    To cut my bangs straight, my mom used to scotch tape them to my forehead, cut along the bottom edge of the tape, then rip the tape off. Well, at least they were straight : /

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    • I did the scotch-tape thing when I was a teenager. My mother just kept cutting to try to make them even. My father tried too… my bangs just got shorter and shorter.

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    • My mom did the scotch tape thing, too. But they still weren’t straight. I think I just have a crooked head.

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  4. Our mothers must have conspired!

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  5. At some point in my adult life I developed an irrational fear of bangs. I now see the rationality of that fear. 🙂

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  6. Michelle Gillies

    My sisters and I were exposed to the dreaded bowl cut. Yep, put a big bowl on your kid’s head and cut around it so that the bangs look like a curve.
    As far as the lists go you are “bang” on!

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  7. Good observations~~I’m not sure I’d have enough hours in the day to try all those things! PS~ is that your sketch of M Eisenhower?

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    • My conception of ME with Mamie bangs.

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      • Your sketch is very good…. so you are an artist as well as a writer ?! Wow!

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  8. I am going to the hairdresser today. I’ll have to ask about the 49 selections! If she doesn’t shave my head, I’ll let you know if anything positive comes out of it.

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  9. Bangs get a bad rap but I love:
    “I’m not sure I have 49 hairs to make bangs with.” Ha ha ha

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  10. hysterical post. i love the ones that give you multiple ways to do something you really don’t even want to try – 15 ways to eat tofu (no, thank you), 59 ways to bedazzle your lover (i’m already tired), 20 things to do with your kids on a rainy day (there are only 12 hours of awake time??? really???).

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  11. Funny post! Looks like these sites are even supersizing our choices.

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  12. Now I am obsessed with trying to think of 49 different ways to wear bangs. So far, I am up to 4.

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    • I can count six – straight, side-swept, long, short, choppy – and “There’s something about Mary.”

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  13. pharphelonus

    and I love how the recipes often include some ingredient you have never heard of. It’s like the chef’s way of saying, `Don’t try this at home, amateur.’ Bastids.

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