I’m a Good Tipper
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Because I have a pile of presents to wrap, and a tree with lights but no decorations, it’s time for the Holiday Re-Run. Here’s a post from way back when I first started to blog (a whole five months ago) and had few readers. But I liked this one, so I am giving it another chance. I also went to the hairdresser last night, so it’s again appropriate.
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I’M A GOOD TIPPER
Dear Hairdresser:
Before you start, I’d like to share with you just a couple of my little “issues”:
- My face is really round.
- My eyes are close together.
- My eyebrows are going gray.
- I have a short neck, but an extra chin.
- My lips are too thin.
- I’m very pale. Except when I’m tan.
- My hair is fine at the temples, but thick at the back.
- Nobody has no body like me.
- One ear is just slightly lower than the other.
- I’m allergic to one kind of dye, but I don’t remember which one.
- I like my hair a rich, dark brown, or maybe blond. Redheads are nice.
- I like layers, but not too many layers. Or maybe a lot. Or maybe blunt.
- The back of my head is quite flat.
- I have a cowlick back there, so that spot is even flatter.
- The right side of my hair tends to flip up by itself.
- I like bangs. Long, but not too long. And fringy. You know, like that actress. You know… her. But only in that one movie, not the other one.
- I’m not very good with the blowdryer.
- Humidity makes my hair flop.
- Dry weather gives me the static flyaways. Like rubbing a balloon against a sweater.
- I have a photo here of a style I like. It’s longer than my hair, but the right cut might grow into that.
- I want to subtract a few years. Like twenty.
So now we’re ready.
Give me a hairdo that will correct/conceal/complement these few little issues.
I know you can do it.
I’m a good tipper.
- Posted in: Aging ♦ Beauty ♦ Humor ♦ Style ♦ Uncategorized
- Tagged: Aging, beauty, Hair, hairstyles, Humor, middle-age, Style
notquiteold 
I think all my glasses look crooked because I have one ear lower than the other. I guess I could get one eye lifted. Glad you reran this. I needed the laugh.
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Great post.
So I am not the only one with a crooked face/eyes/ears/everything? LOL
And I would have added………..Don’t try to talk me into anything wild and new!
lol
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Oh, good. I actually have a hair appointment today. Now I’ll have a few easy pointers and suggestions to offer my stylist 😉 Thanks!
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I may need to print this out and take it with me to my next appointment. Would you mind? 🙂
Terrific post!
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I’m sure your hairdresser won’t mind a few suggestions. My hairdresser loves it that I expect her to change the way I look completely with a few snips of the scissors. If she only cut my hair correctly, I reason, I would no longer have a round face, thin lips, a saggy chin, or sixty years of mileage. She loves the challenge. That, and she’s a saint.
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LOL! I knew there was a reason why I didn’t decide to be a hairdresser. 🙂
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Very funny post. And I didn’t know you were fairly new to blogging. Your posts are always so good, so on point and so incredibly funny, that I thought you’d been doing it for much longer. I am now even more impressed!
As for hair, well, my hair is the only feature I haven’t totally destroyed from my younger gorgeous self. So I tell the hairdresser to do what he wants with it.
This technique has only failed me once, when I needed an emergency haircut with a new hairdresser. I knew I was in trouble when, after she was done she proclaimed me “SASSY.”
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I’d love to have you go to one of those hair dresser schools with this list. You’d sort out the wheat from the chaff for sure! Thanks for reposting. I hadn’t seen this one and got a good chuckle!
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Holiday reruns? Just like TV! I read this one the first time around and still love it. What’s that old adage….I’m a beautician not a magician!! Btw, can I have your hairdresser’s number?
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I would like to add that “Humidity makes my hair flop. Unless I want it straight and floppy. In which case, humidity makes my hair frizz and have more volume than music in Abercrombie and Fitch.”
I don’t think I make enough money in a year to tip that much.
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I think I would welcome frizz…. it would be the only volume I’ve ever had.
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Love it! Thanks for reposting; I wouldn’t have wanted to miss that one!
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I might have to print this out and take it to the hairdresser next time I go.
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I hope she has a sense of humor. Scissors can be weapons, you know.
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As a once-upon-a-time hairdresser I have seen this list a gazzillion times! It helps to be a bit ditzy if you are a stylist–I was pretty good…
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Well, I’m glad you posted this again because it’s definitely a CLASSIC, just like you!
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Love how you find the humor in every situation. Don’t we all go to the hair stylist and beg for small life-changing mercies??? Wishing you and yours a merry..merry Christmas!
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I’ve read this previously and it still reads well now.
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